This is babel, sensurround now.

So, okay. This is a thing that happened last month. My almost!brother Pete and his actual biological little sister came to visit from England. As you can probably guess from the video, I had no idea about this plan. Pete and my sister orchestrated the whole thing behind my back. My sister even spoke to my supervisor and got me time off work. Sneaky bastards.

Pete stayed for two weeks, and his sister for one. We nicely stayed away from the truly weird topics (well, mostly) while she was present, but once she'd gone home... One night we stayed up until 4 am talking about the old Barbelith forums and the difference between the magical communities online back then versus the modern tumblr magic scene.

Why yes, I am on the tumblr. Why yes, it is filled with young people. Some of the stuff I see there in the magic circles is quite interesting. There does seem to be a different tone in the magical community there - some of this may be the age gap, but I don't think that's all of it. What I remember of the time period from about 1998 to 2005 is that experimentation was the other of the day. Now it often feels like people are more concerned with telling you what you're doing wrong than they are with trying new things.

Part of this is definitely an age thing. I remember being in my early 20s and thinking I knew a lot, so my job was clearly to correct people who might be ignorant.  I was a fucking know-it-all; a state that happens a lot with people who were really clever in school. There is also a greater awareness of various social issues. This is generally a very good thing, but it can have the unfortunate effect of dividing people who are - in the grand scheme of things - on the same side.

I'm thinking in particular of the anti-Trump binding spell that's been mentioned in a few different news sources. Now, when I first read the spell I admit I had a very dismissive reaction - "well, that's not how I'D do it" and then a bunch of quibbles with the whole "we're not CURSING" attitude and so on and so forth. After a few days of thinking about it, I realised I was being an ass. The spell was designed for everyone to throw their energy in together, and instead of just shutting the fuck up and doing the thing I was instead nitpicking it.

Which accomplishes nothing. 

It actually reminded me of something I had bitched about to Pete while he was here. When I had been trying to run the ladies' magic nights, one of the participants showed several times an unwillingness to go along with the group. This was a major issue that contributed to the dissolution of the group as it was (and the end of a friendship) and so to see it reflected in myself was a reminder not to be a dickhead.

Art: Chris Bachalo

It was wonderful to have Pete visit. I had been missing having someone to talk to about occult bullshit, and seeing him reminded me that you don't have to put up with people who are shit friends just so you can have a halfway decent conversation about bad vibes and hypersigils. Especially when you deal in magic, you want to surround yourself with people that trust you, and who you can trust in turn. I am truly lucky to have some people like that already in my life, and even luckier in that I am surrounding myself with more of the same.

Surrounding myself with people who enrich my life is a symptom of my ongoing plan to better myself in general. My health is also a priority, as is my writing (which is why I'm writing here now) and also my dancing. I've been away from preforming for a very long time, and I want to get back into it. I've changed my stage name to reflect this new beginning - it is now Emma Eldritch.

Not new beginnings, exactly. More like better choices.