Devil Monk

In my last post, I ended by saying that I had used the 40 Servants online deck and pulled the Devil card. I spent the rest of the month petitioning the servant, burning a candle for him and asking to be shown what my limiting beliefs are, and asking to free myself from whatever is holding me back. I put the image of the card and its sigil on my phone, so I could see it daily.

For the first few weeks, I honestly wasn't sure what it was that could possibly be blocking me. After all, I engage in introspection perhaps a little too much, how could I possibly have such a blind spot? It took a while for it to dawn on me that it was very likely that I was holding myself back in my physical endeavours. Exercise, and dance - these are places where in the past I have doubted my ability.

That leads me to the past weekend. I preformed at the Taboo Revue - my Bride number again, and a trio with Melody Mangler and my sister. I did not fuck up horrendously, I had fun, and I'm proud of myself.

The very next day I went and did the Vancouver Sun Run - my very first 10K. My sister and I were in the slowpokes division and all told I only ran 3K, but we still finished the bloody thing in one hour and forty-three minutes.

Instagram

So, now what?

Back to running regularly - just doing the run reminded me how much I do enjoy it, and now that I'm not working two jobs and the days are longer and slightly less shitty, I can discover good routes that let me absorb nature.

I'm co-hosting the Stephen King "We All Float Down Here" show at the Rio with Gidget - it will be my first time as a co-host on a large stage, and it should be loads of fun.

Since I had so much success with the 40 Servants, I pulled another virtually. This time I pulled The Monk. This coincides with the astrological forecast in terms of simplifying life, something I don't mind doing at all. I'll be a dancing, running, meditating freak.

Now have some motivational music!

Double Ds

Sometimes things happen very quickly. Too quickly - all you can do then is put on your boots and roll with it as best you can.

Tommie Kelly released The Forty Servants a while ago. I read Tommie's blog, but I admit I didn't pay much attention to the release - I tend not to enjoy oracle cards very much. Turns out this is an exception.

You can try the deck out in virtual form here. I did, and the very first card I pulled was The Depleted.

My good friend Andrew pulled it, too. We both reacted the same way: "goddamn son of a bitch." Because it was right - we were both completely burnt out.

I can't speak for Andrew, but myself? I'd been working two jobs, my father had recently had major heart surgery at nearly age 70, my sister was suffering from severe anxiety and in the process of breaking up with a partner, a friend had to be rushed to the hospital... everything was shit. And in the middle of this, I volunteered myself to preform at the Vancouver Burlesque Centre's Student Showcase. Yeah, sign me up, I haven't been on stage in at least a year! Fuck it, how hard could it be?

Goddamn son of a bitch.

Some of it I did to myself, but even the shit I didn't plan on is no excuse to curl up into a weeping ball of marshmallow fluff. (This is not to say I did not weep, because I totally did. I came home fro my second contract and cried in my closet one day because I couldn't find a misplaced lab coat.)I am an adult - part of that is owning up to the responsibility of my reactions. I am also a fucking occultist - part of that is manipulating my goddamn reality.

This spring has been hard. But so what? Embrace the thorns of the plants trying desperately to find the sun behind the grey and omnipresent clouds. You're alive, witch, do something with that.


My return to the stage was a Bride of Frankenstein number, set to Shearwater's Quiet Americans. A woman made by man for man, ultimately embracing her imperfect form and revolting against the very idea that she exists solely for her creator.

I got to throw a chair, it was boss.

Since then, more opportunities to preform have presented themselves. My second job will end on the 14th, leaving me with more free time that I intend to devote to running and writing. If nothing else, working more really does teach you that you can accomplish an awful lot before bedtime.


For fun, I just pulled another of the Forty Servants to see what I should bear in mind for the next lunar cycle.  I got The Devil. 

Well. That I can work with.