Pages

Monday, February 10, 2014

NYNY: Goals v2.0

2014: not off to a great start. This seems to be the consensus of pretty much everyone I know. Marital issues, break-ups, deaths, illness, depression... it's running the gamut of utter shit. So before I address anything else, I'm going to post a link:

Making Sense of the Senseless.


Right. And now it's time for me to press on.

Revisiting the previously stated goals from January:
1) To save a set amount of money a month. 
2) To become a better performer.
3) To continue to improve my physical health.
4) To complete a writing project.

1) Same as before. Easy peasy.

One day, I'll have my stripper coven.
2) Tarantino Burlesque has a second run at the Rio Theatre on March first. I'm going to tighten up all my choreo. I should be making an appearance at Cabaret du Passe sometimes soon, and I've got a solo in this month's Taboo Revue that I'm working on. It's a witch number. Because weirdly I don't have one yet. (And with all due respect to my esoteric sisters in the community... I need one more than almost anyone else I know.)

3) Running three times a week. The distances continue to increase, although I am still not very fast. My proposed schedule of morning exercise flopped, in part because there were yet more reports of assault nearby (Stanley Park to be precise, where I don't actually run expect on weekends during the daytime) and there are less people out at 6:30 AM than 6:30 PM.

Weights have been a bit spottier, but I'm just going to get right back to any-day-you're-not-running. Except Sunday. Fuck Sunday, it's for mimosas.

4) HOLY SHIT I HAVE A PLOT. Writing schedule is a bit off-and-on still, but hopefully now that I'm not so stressed out it will settle into a routine.

Magically, I actually have not done a whole lot in conjunction with the actual doing shit portion aside from some work done early on in January as a kickstart. It may stay that way until an issue arises as most of my spell-time has been devoted to emergency issues instead.

Okay, so this is where we left off last time...

Use your preferred method of divination to figure out both what you can do to make sure these goals will happen and also to figure out what road blocks keep you from this. 

Thoth deck, one-card pull for potential blocks on each issue.

1. Money goal: Fortune. Circumstance and having to be patient. This also speaks to the cyclical nature of the industry I'm in, and is a reminder that finances will come and go so my planning needs to be better.

Babalon.
2. Performance goal: Lust. This is amusing since I have been wanting to do a Metropolis number for months (which may or may not ever happen) specifically the Babalon scene. So hilariously the thing keeping me from being a better performer is apparently my reluctance to really give myself over to passion. Well, that's something to keep in mind for my next solo!

3. Health goal: The Magus. Just Do It. (Apparently that slogan was taken from a murderer. Way to go, Nike.) Willpower and desire. Mind over matter.

4. Writing goal: The Chariot. The Chariot card in tarot is rarely ever actually moving. So, as usual, this is the lack of momentum issue. This is especially bad with writing since there are many, many times where you would rather do anything else than sit there and put words on a blank screen. When it's good it's sublime - the other 90% of the time it feels a lot like dental work.

Consult whatever inner or outer spirits you may work with as to what’s blocking you from achieving your goals.

Using the glow-in-the-dark Canadian Ouija (it says 'oui!') I attempted to contact my inner self. My sister acted as scribe. After singing some Pink Floyd (to which the answer was 'no') I proceeded to ask a few questions, the most relevant being "what is my major block in life in general?"

"G. O. M. E. R."

"Don't be such a gomer?!"

"YES."

Thanks, subconscious. (My sister decided we should google the word. Not only is it in reference to Gomer Pyle, but according to Urban Dictionary it also means, 'medical slang for a patient who "has lost--often through age--what goes into being a human being."' THANKS SUBCONSCIOUS.)

Sunday, February 2, 2014

Gibraltar.

So, I can talk about this now. The other week my sister had to go to the breast clinic for a mammogram and ultrasound because her GP found a lump in her right breast. Unfortunately, because her breast tissue is so dense, they had to do a biopsy last week.

We kept it fairly on the down-low. but yesterday we got the results back.

Good news: it's not cancer.

Bad news: they don't know what it is, and she needs to have surgery to remove the mass.

My sister is understandably upset. We both cried a lot; we were scared but relieved at the same time. She has a meeting with the surgeon on Wednesday, so we'll know more about what has to happen then, but in the meantime we're trying to hang tough. Shawna deals with stress by being social, and I deal by hiding the fuck away, so she'll try and stay busy and I'll jog and write a lot.

Also maybe some of this.
My sister and I are extraordinarily close. It's difficult to explain in words how strong the bond is between us, and the closest we can usually come is to reference pop culture: all the sets of sisters in Practical Magic? That's us. Ginger and Bridgette in Ginger Snaps? Us again. Jesus Christ, even the hair colours are the same.

There are people who are and always will be a part of your soul. When they are threatened or hurt it makes you sick. The only thing to do in those situations is to be a motherfucking rock.